chatting in the loo

I am on a break from class right now, and I just went into the women's washroom. Wait, it sounds like TMI, but there is a point, I swear. Anyway, while I was in there, a woman two stalls over WAS MAKING A CELL PHONE CALL. It was very awkward! I was a little stressed about flushing the toilet because I knew if I did, the person she was talking to would know the caller was in the washroom!

Then I figured that was her problem, and I flushed.

Is it just me or is that pretty damned rude, to talk on a cell phone while you are sitting on the toilet?

it is so damn cold

It is -22 degrees Celsius here right now and -30 with the windchill. This is WRONG, people.

For once I am glad to be sitting in my overheated office. But it is really going to suck having to go back outside to drive home.

thoughtful assessment of Harper's criticism of China

This article by Thomas Walkom in the Toronto Star is a thoughtful assessment of why, despite the fact that I feel it's important not to turn a blind eye to a trading partner's human rights record, I still feel suspicious and uneasy about Stephen Harper's statements to China about the Huseyincan Celil case.

animal reviews

Are cats excellent, or rubbish?

Think scientifically. There are loads of really rubbish cats: Cats like Garfield; Heathcliffe; dead ones in sacks bobbing along rivers; the list goes on. These felines really let the side down. Cats also sweat more than other animals, usually around the private parts and feet. After a comprehensive and totally independent study commissioned by ourselves, cats sweat 10% more than bison, who spend all day running around. On top of this, cat yawns stink and trying to get them to swallow a worming tablet is nigh on impossible.

So then - cats are not excellent. They're rubbish. Case closed. But stop right there - there is one thing, above all others, that redeems the cat and makes it Excellent.

And it is this. Cats have the ability to spot those people who are terrified by them, and make it their mission to leap without warning onto their laps. This is nothing short of hilarious to witness, with a palpable (and highly enjoyable) sense of tension created as the oblivious victim is stalked, ambushed and finally mauled by the unseen horror. Just like tigers.

Also reviewed for your edification, ducks ("greatest bird in the world"), jellyfish, and a host of others.

10 pounds of yarn coming my way

Last night during my pre-class office hours, I decided to peruse yarn websites while Hannibal Lectering my roast lamb dinner. As a result, I ordered a really shocking amount of yarn online. Let's just put it this way: the cost of shipping alone is going to be $20. And I don't think that's even Priority Post.

unusual links for you to click and enjoy

• A Modest Proposal: WTO Announces Formalized Slavery Model for Africa. Here's a rather Swiftian piece of performance art in which a member of the Yes Men infiltrated a Wharton Business School conference and, posing as a WTO representative, announced an initiative to create a model for "compassionate slavery" in Africa.
  
  

  The initiative will require Western companies doing business in some parts of Africa to own their workers outright. Schmidt recounted how private stewardship has been successfully applied to transport, power, water, traditional knowledge, and even the human genome. The WTO's "full private stewardry" program will extend these successes to (re)privatize humans themselves.
  
  "Full, untrammelled stewardry is the best available solution to African poverty, and the inevitable result of free-market theory," Schmidt told more than 150 attendees. Schmidt acknowledged that the stewardry program was similar in many ways to slavery, but explained that just as "compassionate conservatism" has polished the rough edges on labor relations in industrialized countries, full stewardry, or "compassionate slavery," could be a similar boon to developing ones. [via Metafilter]

• And over at Go Fug Yourself, we have a sombre example of the tragedy that is high-waisted pants: "She's looking down, all, "Daaaaamn, were these armpit-rise when I bought them?" These square waist-eaters make Mom jeans look positively trampy, like they've been out all night until a sleazy 11 p.m., sitting in a parked car with a boy inhaling second-hand smoke and sharing a bottle of soda without using a second straw."
  
  

• Have you ever wondered how long it would take you to become fluent in another language? Wonder no more. The Foreign Service Institute of the US Department of State has compiled some "approximate learning expectations" for various languages. You could be speaking French, Italian, Spanish, or Romanian in as little as 23-24 weeks! If you're looking to learn a language not so closely related to English, like, say, Tajik, Polish, or Russian, it'll take you a little longer--44 weeks or so--but hey, that's under a year. (If you want to learn Chinese, Japanese, or Korean, well, that's another story. You're looking at 88 weeks, Buster.)
  
  Before you get too excited, though, the FSI cautions: "Keep in mind that students at FSI are almost 40 years old, are native speakers of English and have a good aptitude for formal language study, plus knowledge of several other foreign languages. They study in small classes of no more than 6. Their schedule calls for 25 hours of class per week with 3-4 hours per day of directed self-study." [via The 88s]
  
  
• The Comics Curmudgeon peeks into the Family Circus' Pet Sematary. "I have to say that the Family Circus children do not strike me as being old enough, under ordinary circumstances, to have racked up the body count on display here. Of course, the circumstances surrounding this freakish clan of big-headed weirdos is never ordinary." [via Pop Culture Junk Mail]

knitting update

I'm currently working on a 3/4 sleeve lace cardigan. The pattern: Cece from Chicknits. (Here's an example of the 3/4 sleeve version from Fluffa! knitting blog). The yarn: 100% hand-dyed merino from Sweet Georgia. I knit for about 3.5 hours or so last night, and only finished about an inch and a half. Yikes.

In other news, there is a new lot of Debbie Bliss Cotton Angora on Elann today. I was sorely tempted, but then I read the yarn review on Knitters' Review and was scared off. I dislike knitting with inelastic yarn at the best of times, and when the end result is something that looks "like a Kleenex that had been in someone's handbag one month too many," well, that's a dealbreaker.

commenting

Hi everyone,

It recently came to my attention that the commenting wasn't working--it turns out I wasn't doing something I needed to do to get the comments to show up. Duh, silly me. I wondered why I wasn't receiving comments! Anyway, it's all fixed now and your comments have been duly posted! I'm enjoying reading them all and hopefully any new ones will appear when they should.

nautie but nice

Ohhhhh what a terrible pun (and not very original, either, I'm sure). Here is my latest knitted toy: Nautie the Nautiloid. Who knew that long-extinct creatures could be so cute and cuddly?

The pattern for this toy is by Beth Skwarecki, from the Spring 2006 issue of Knitty. I knit my Nautie from Paton's Classic Wool and stuffed it with the same polyfill stuffing I used for Henry. Although I think the end product is quite cute, I must admit that when I sewed the face onto the shell, but had not yet picked up and knit the tentacly things on the face, the nautiloid looked a little--well--phallic. I think this appearance was mitigated by the tentacles. I would hope!

I am currently working on a non-coiled, striped-shell Nautie, also in Classic Wool (I've got quite the stash of it).

knitted animals

Meet Henry the Bear. I made him from a pattern in Jess Hutchison's booklet Unusual Toys for You to Knit and Enjoy. (Unfortunately, I believe this booklet is now out of print--I was lucky enough to receive it as a gift from Miss L last year.)

I used Naturally Luxury (a merino/mohair blend) for the main body colour and Paton's Classic Wool for the blue "sweater". I used a small amount of Noro Cash Iroha to embroider the face (Henry is a bear of distinction and fine, expensive tastes). He is far too well-mannered to mention what he is stuffed with, but I can tell you it is an excellent polyfill stuffing from Fabricland.

I thoroughly enjoyed knitting Henry and plan to knit him some friends.

and you thought Donkey Kong was a weird name for a video game

There are the titles that are just slightly odd:

• Princess Tomato in Salad Kingdom
• Beyond the Beyond
• Panic Restaurant
• Irritating Stick

Then we have the titles with mild and inadvertent sexual innuendo:

• Wild Woody
• Sticky Balls
• Nuts and Milk
• Booby Kids

And finally, we have the titles that are simply bizarre strings of random English words:

• Silhouette Mirage: Reprogrammed Hope
• 70's Robot Anime Geppy-X: The Super Boosted Armor

and my ultimate favourite:

• Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together

50 Worst Video Game Names [via Metafilter]